Ladies and gentlemen, family, and friends who are only here for the open bar,
My name is Thomas, but everyone calls me the person responsible for not getting engaged first. I'm honored to stand here today as the best man, which means I get to roast my buddy David in front of all of you.
First of all, I want to say how happy I am to see David finally settling down with Anna. I mean, it's about time he found someone who can put up with him for more than five minutes at a time.
David and I have been friends since college, and let me tell you, we've seen some stuff. We've survived late-night pizza parties, awkward family gatherings, and even a few questionable life choices (looking at you, David's haircut in 2010). But through it all, David has remained one of the most loyal and honest people I know.
Now, I'm not going to sugarcoat it – David can be a bit of a handful sometimes. He's always been the type to speak his mind, even if it means saying something ridiculous or completely wrong (I mean, who else could make a joke about Anna's cooking being " therapeutic" for his stomach?).
But in all seriousness, David and Anna are meant to be. They balance each other out perfectly – Anna brings out the best in David, while David... well, he still drives Anna crazy.
As they begin this new chapter in their lives together, I want to remind them that marriage is all about love, laughter, and compromise. And by compromise, I mean David will have to learn to cook more than just ramen noodles for his wife (just kidding, Anna – sort of).
In all seriousness, I've had the privilege of watching David and Anna grow together, and it's been an absolute pleasure. They're each other's rock, supporting and loving each other through thick and thin.
So here's to the happy couple: May your love continue to be the stuff of fairy tales, your arguments be brief and funny, and your sex life remain scandalously exciting (just kidding, David – we all know it's not that exciting... or is it?). Cheers!